How do they measure long jumps at the olymipcs?

We'd been measuring jumps with cubes. We talked about whether they'd use cubes at the olmpics. One girl looked at me - "That's silly. They'd use a ladder!"

The things they say

Tim's struggling to understand what he's supposed to do. John's trying to explain. After a few attempts, he comes to me and says 'Miss, Tim's not undergetting it'.

Miss Miss Miiiss

Miss. I know why the tudor people from that olden times house aren't alive any more.
(We've just been on a school trip to look at old houses, like a medieval farm and a victorian cottage).
Why?
Because the dinosaurs ate them.


Miss Miss Miss! I know what those plates are made out of! They're made out of horn!

Brilliant! (Yesterday they kept thinking the tudor stuff was made out of plastic).

That's really well remembered! Can anyone tell me which animal it comes from?

Yes miss. It's dog.

The tooth fairy don't nick

There's been a thief in our classroom. They took a bite of my sandwich and left muddy footprints and finger prints and crumbs everywhere.

The children are compiling a list of likely suspects. The potential criminals included:

The reception teacher
The whole of year four
The tooth fairy
The caretaker

But, as one of my children pointed out, it obviously couldn't be the tooth fairy. "The toothfairy don't nick."

Bats in the bathroom

Today I went back to the land of infants.

My class helped 'Sage' (puppet) with her biggest worry . . . where to find the toilets.

We went on a tour, starting with the girls, and, just for fun, showed Sage where the boys toilets were too.

At this point, the youngest member of my class whispered to me 'Miss, can I tell you something?'

I bent down to listen.

'There's a bat that lives in the year 1 toilet. He's invisible until there's only one person in there and then you can see him and he flaps round your face . . . I don't want to use those ones with the bat'.

After teaching older children for a couple of years, I had to pause for a moment as I digested this.

'I know about the bat. Mr Caretaker knows about the bat as well. In the summer holidays, he went in and caught the bat, and took it to a new home. He lives somewhere else now'.

A wide-eyed and beaming child followed us back to the classroom.

From PDP to PGCE with QTS to NQT with CEPD

Ace of Base.
Hot Pot of Coffee.
Schwwwwwwwwweeeet Grandmother's Spatula.

We've finished!!

Summer's here, BRING it on!!

Grooooovers in the heart, get dahn, woop-di-woop, rahr-di-rahr,

SHAMONE!!!

Everything you do is useful, however useless

This afternoon I taught art. I had been preparing for English and Maths til 2am last night so art never got planned. I managed to borrow a lesson plan from another student at lunch time and winged it like a migratory bird.

The art lesson was on Henri Rousseau.



We talked about the tiger patterns and how the stripes are replicated through the painting, and the camoflage colours.


Then I showed them pictures of wild animals, starting with a lion. "How would you camoflage a lion in it's natural environment, children?".
Slight panic as I realise I don't really know details about where lions live or the difference between an African and Indian elephant or the natural habitat of a hippopotamus. The children have to pick an animal and draw it camoflaged in it's natural environment.
The children start arguing about whether lions live in the desert. Somebody starts telling them about long savannah grass and rocks umbrella thorn acacia trees and huge baobabs and perhaps a small pool to drink and bathe from . . .

A panda? They're endangered, by the way children (how does this person know this? they must be a blue-peter fan) and they'll like elevated terrain, with lots of bamboo, a mixture of grasses, grey stone, and deciduous environments.

A Black bear? They love the trembling aspen tree, and would appreciate a mixture of coniferous and deciduous terrain, with lots of rocks and a cave to shelter in - you will probably want to put water near by as well.

Miss, what can you can you camoflage a penguin with?

What can I put with my aligators, Miss?

This person doing the explaining, much to my suprise, was me. Where did all this knowledge of animal habitats come from?
My computer came with a free version of Zoo Tycoon - you get to build zoos and have to keep the animals and visitors happy. I have spent many hours "wasting" my life away building exhibits for animals to live in. This afternoon I learnt that time wasting might one day help you to wing it like a particularly confident migratory bird winging its way accross the African savannah, Amazon rainforest or Antartic desert.